Mark of the Devil
by tdei
Summary: Do you _really_ know what's going on in Shuichi's head? He's not what he seems...


-Disclaimer: Gravitation belongs to its respective artists. The storyline, original characters, and portrayal of Shuichi are my creation though. ^-^  
  
-Genre/Story type: Shonen-ai/Dark  
  
-Series: Gravitation  
  
-Warnings: Contains a tiny spoiler for the ending scene in the Gravitation manga volume 3. This fic is shonen-ai, guy x guy love. PG rating. It's a prelude to some serious AU characteristics.   
  
-Author's Comments: Takes place at the end of Gravitation Volume 3. Prequel to "Idle Hands," a work in progress. ^^ It's more like a prologue of what to come... C&C appreciated. Please do not post this fic anywhere without my permission. ^^;  
  
-Thank yous: Thank you, Amani-san and Toni, for taking an interest in this fic. ^^ I liked my idea, but I probably wouldn't have moved to write it if it weren't for you guys.   
  
  
  
  
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Mark of the Devil  
  
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The teen stared at the off-white ceiling dreamily, lips crookedly lifted in a slight, involuntary smile. He was sprawled languidly on the worn plush couch, waiting. His diluted eyes traced the moving hands of the plastic, oval clock that hung on the opposite wall. Its ticking had droned steadily in a monotonous chatter in his ears for the past half an hour. For a brief moment, his eyes shone gold with amusement as he entertained the thought of pulverizing the clock into tiny, plastic pieces. His smile widened slightly. Nah.   
  
Even if he were to smash the clock into pieces, he imagined he would still hear the ticking chuckling on and on in his head. He had listened to it for too long; the sound was tattooed into his brain. He let out a puff of air, crossing his arms, and reclined back on the couch.   
  
The person he was waiting for was late.   
  
He paused that thought, tilting his head. Never mind. Eyes calming to a sapphire blue, he blinked once. There was a strange, almost psychotic, glitter in his eyes as they flickered toward the lone, closed door in the room.  
  
A second after he focused his eyes on the knob, the gold knob twisted and the door swung quietly open with a soft swish. "Good evening, Shuichi," greeted a warm voice crisply.  
  
A tall, shapely brunette carrying a clipboard professionally glided in. She flashed a smile at him as she closed the door behind her.  
  
"You're late," said Shuichi tonelessly.   
  
"Sorry. I was caught in some traffic," she explained. She took a pen from her white lab coat pocket and uncapped it, sitting down on an office chair nearby. "Why were you looking straight at the door when I came in, Shuichi?"  
  
A small, secretive smile flickered on Shuichi's lips. "I Heard you coming."   
  
"Heard?" inquired the woman.  
  
"Yes," he murmured quietly in a laughing tone. Light danced in Shuichi's violet eyes as he tapped the side of his head.   
  
"Ah." She twisted the chair around, crossing her legs, and wrote on the paper clipped onto her clipboard. She briefly looked up with warm brown eyes. "How are you feeling today?"   
  
Looking lingeringly at the brunette's slender legs, Shuichi's lips blossomed into an appreciative smile as his eyes shone a clear, mischievous emerald. "Top of the world as soon as you walked in, doctor."  
  
The doctor raised an eyebrow. "Flirt," she chided, smiling. "How have things been since the last time I saw you?" She folded her hands on her clipboard and tapped her pen against the metal clip.   
  
The smile fell from Shuichi's lips. "Relatively alright, I guess. Things are basically the same... Except I seem to have developed a crush on a bastard novelist." His cold violet eyes were eerily calm.  
  
The brunette blinked. She blinked again. "A crush..." the doctor slowly said in astonishment. "You?"  
  
Shuichi threw up his arms in an exaggerated gesture of disbelief. "ME!" he gushed, a tinge of hysteria in his voice. His eyes faded to a deep, clear blue. "Can you believe it?" He giggled. "He's sooo pretty! I really, really love him, Dr. Yui!" He grinned widely at her, as if sharing a hilarious secret.  
  
"A... ah." She unclasped her hands and wrote down a few notes on her paper. "What's his name, Shuichi? How did you meet him?"   
  
He pouted. "I thought I'm not suppose to kiss and tell. You're going to spill the news, aren't you?" He slid half-lidded, fiery red eyes toward her knowingly. An expression of wondering disgust flitted across his face. "His name is Eiri Uesugi, age twenty-two," he sneered, eyes burning in rage. "A "famous" novelist. I fucking ran into the bastard on the street when I was walking home. He--" Shuichi's spasmed slightly, choking slightly on a breath. Dr. Yui started in alarm. Shuichi waved her off, indicating he was fine. He smiled apologetically at her. "He was standing there, under a streetlight. I dropped a set of lyrics I was working on," Shuichi explained with tired aquamarine eyes. "He picked it up, took a look at it, and told me I had--" Dark sapphire eyes teared. "ZERO talent," he sobbed. "But I know he was just trying to help! I was mad at him at first, but after seeing how cool he was, I fell in love with him." Shuichi looked up with a bright smile. Crazed infatuation lurked in the shadows of his empty, midnight blue eyes. "He's soooo dreamy, Dr. Yui!"   
  
Dr. Yui adjusted her glasses with a hand. "I see..." The pair lapsed into silence as she quietly wrote a few more notes on her clipboard.  
  
Shuichi brooded.   
  
His head lolled back. "That fucking bastard... I want to kill him," snarled Shuichi with sudden, explosive violence, fingers ripping into the plush couch. His head snapped forward and he twisted to glare at his doctor with glowing, eerie crimson red eyes. "I want to kill him kill him kill him kill him--"  
  
Easily restraining her start at his sudden change in moods, Dr. Yui spoke with practiced calm. "Do you feel like this all the time, Shuichi?"  
  
His jaw tightened as his expression wavered. "Sometimes," he whispered, sagging back onto his couch. He stared with up at the ceiling with beautiful, melancholy, silver eyes. "But I understand. I know he's not a bad person. He's just broken inside. I want-- to help him--"  
  
"No," he purred darkly, contradicting himself. His eyes darkened to jet-black. "Rip him apart. He fucks with me!" His hands spasmed.   
  
"But," he whispered, eyes fading to sky-blue, "I like him." He covered his eyes dejectedly with his trembling hands. Cold sweat formed on his skin. He flopped back against the couch. Limply dropping his hands to his side, he abruptly smiled gleefully. "He's fun to play with!" Shuichi chirped with a certain, malicious glee. His eyes shone pure gold.  
  
Dr. Yui chewed on her pen. "I see..."  
  
Shuichi dazedly shook his head from side to side and focused on his doctor with clear green eyes. "Doc," he slurred, "I'm so confused." Dr. Yui smiled sympathetically and patted the teen's clammy hand. Shuichi's dark violet eyes roiled with turmoil. "These feelings..." he whispered, "Too much... they're tearing me apart. I can't function correctly--"  
  
"Well," Dr. Yui said absently, scanning over a few notes on her paper, "have you tried working things out with him? Or telling him how you feel?"   
  
Silence.  
  
"Shuichi?" Dr. Yui looked up from her clipboard. She bit back a gasp. The teen's eyes were a chaotic, rainbow maelstrom. His face twisted in a pained grimace, an unvoiced snarl, a smile, a hopeless sigh, and a scream.   
  
"Never mind, Shuichi!" she said quickly, hurriedly leaning over to pat his head. "It's okay. You don't have to try to talk to him about this. In fact, it's best not to."  
  
Inhaling with a gasp, Shuichi's eyes settled to a fathomless amethyst. "I know," he whispered shakily.  
  
"You would..." agreed Dr. Yui.   
  
"What should I do?" Shuichi whispered, green-blue eyes gazing at her imploringly. "I--" His pitch black eyes shimmered darkly. "--_loathe_ him--" His clear, midnight blue eyes became confused. "--love him," he whispered. His frame shook with the strength of his conflicting emotions.   
  
Dr. Yui pursed her lips, uncrossing her legs, and shifted. "If you leave him while you're like this, you'll wonder if it could've worked out," she said calmly. "I suggest you remain with him until all parts of your thoughts realize you don't like him the way some of them do right now. Reasonable?"  
  
Shuichi sat quietly for a moment. "Yes," he grudgingly conceded, staring hard at Dr. Yui with molten red eyes. "It is. I understand. I will wait... then..."   
  
Dr. Yui gave him a pleasant smile. "Anything else troubling you, Shuichi?"  
  
Disoriented from the shift in topics, Shuichi took a moment to respond. "No, doctor."  
  
"Well then, let's begin the usual checkup." Dr. Yui capped her pen and stood gracefully. Walking over to one of the crowded tables nearby, she set down her clipboard and picked up an instrument to examine her patient's eyes with.  
  
Shuichi watched her. "Still fascinated by my eyes, doctor?" he asked amusedly, blue-green eyes wry.  
  
"I've never seen someone's eyes change colors the way yours do," she replied. "They're intriguing. Don't your associates ever say anything?"  
  
"No. The colors change when I think in different ways," Shuichi answered, closing his violet eyes briefly. "I'm careful to think only in certain ways around them. For now, at least."  
  
"I see." She turned back around and picked up her clipboard. "Shall we begin?" she inquired rhetorically, walking towards him.  
  
Shuichi gave her a lopsided smile, all signs of agitation gone from his frame. "Why certainly, doctor," he drawled, winking a jade eye. "You know I love it when you get your hands on me."  
  
Dr. Yui lightly whacked her patient with the clipboard. "I've been your psychiatrist for the last ten years and you _still_ keep saying that!" A smile played on her lips as she settled back in her chair and leaned towards Shuichi, motioning him to look up.   
  
Shuichi laughed. "But, doc," he teased. "It's _me_. You know you're the only one _I_ really like, right?"  
  
"Tease."  
  
  
  
Eiri was staring blankly at his laptop screen, lost in thought, when the front door suddenly slammed open with considerable force. He jerked in surprise and nearly knocked his papers off his desk. The door had banged into the wall so hard that he could hear it from where he sat, several rooms away. Who-  
  
"YUKI~~ I'm back!" trilled a noisy voice happily.   
  
Oh. Eiri relaxed and stopped the smile forming on his face from fully manifesting. He knew that voice. Composing his face, he swiveled his chair around just in time to watch the j-pop singer bounce in through his office door.   
  
"YUKI!" called Shuichi cheerily, surging to the writer in a bone-crushing hug. "Sorry I'm back late!"  
  
//I should have called to let you know.//  
  
/I fucking shouldn't have come back at all./  
  
"Hn," grunted Eiri noncommittally. "I didn't notice."  
  
Shuichi's face fell. "Oh--"  
  
/--you fucking SHITHEAD./  
  
//--I guess I shouldn't have thought you would.//  
  
Looking at Shuichi's disappointed face, Eiri felt a twinge of guilt. He hadn't meant what he said; the words had just automatically slipped out of his mouth. Eiri, in fact, _had_ noticed that Shuichi returned later than said. The TV show Shuichi and Hiroshi were in had ended over five hours ago. Shuichi should've only needed three hours to return, but he came back nearly two and a half hours after the estimated time. Eiri had been slightly worried... but he wasn't going to admit that. Thus, he didn't bother to ask why Shuichi was late.   
  
"Stupid idiot," the blonde sighed, lighting a new cigarette. He slid a hand under the teary-eyed teen's chin and lifted it. Eiri tilted his head to the side, intense tawny eyes blazing, and regarded the dismal mess sitting in front of him on the floor.   
  
"Yuukii!!" wailed the red-violet haired young man tearfully. "You're so mean!" He mega-tackled the unfortunate blonde.  
  
Eiri flinched, absently rubbing his ear with his other hand. The decibels his lover's voice managed to hit constantly amazed him. He attempted to pry the clinging boy off him. "Get off, Shuichi."  
  
/Gladly, you anal bastard./  
  
//Do you really hate me that much?//  
  
"No!" Shuichi snuggled against Eiri, burrowing his face against the irate blonde's chest. "I love you, Yuki!" He looked up at his chosen love with wide, guileless sapphire eyes. "I really, really love..."  
  
/To kill you./  
  
//To heal you.//  
  
/I hate you./  
  
//I love you.//  
  
Shoving a hand against Shuichi's head, Eiri continued to try to pry Shuichi off of him. "Get off, you crazy idiot!"  
  
/Bastard./  
  
//Cute.//  
  
/Damn you./  
  
//Forgive you.//  
  
/Fuck you./  
  
//Bless you.//  
  
"But Yuki~~" Shuichi whined. "I'm tired. Can't I just--"  
  
//Stay with you.//  
  
/Get the fuck away from you./  
  
"--sleep here?" Shuichi pouted, folding back onto the ground. He snuggled between Eiri's legs and laid his head on his stomach. Eiri rolled his eyes and shoved his chair back, unbalancing Shuichi from his kneeling position. Sticking his cigarette in his mouth, Eiri lifted a magazine from his desk. Before Shuichi could protest and take offense from Eiri's obvious retreat, Eiri stood, bent down, and then picked Shuichi up in his arms and carried him to his bedroom. Disregarding Shuichi's wide eyes, Eiri tossed the teen onto his bed. He snorted lightly, knowing what Shuichi was thinking. The brat was incorrect this time. They weren't going mess around tonight; they were both too tired. Although Shuichi sounded energetic, Eiri's sharp eyes noticed the fatigue slumping Shuichi's frame.  
  
"Sleep," Eiri ordered, settling down beside him. He flicked open his magazine.  
  
"Mou~" sighed Shuichi, realizing Eiri wasn't going to screw with him tonight. He closed his eyes.  
  
/Who the fuck do you think you are? My mother?!/  
  
//See, he cares...//  
  
"But I want to--" he whispered.   
  
/kill you KILL YOU KILLYOU/  
  
//save you saVE YOU SAVEYOU//   
  
"Oh, never mind." Shuichi curled up in the blankets, exhausted. He was extremely tired-- from the day's work as well as the checkup. "Good night, Yuki," he murmured, drifting off.  
  
Eiri grunted in reply as he looked at his Music Day magazine. Shuichi and his friend were featured in it. He glanced over at Shuichi's sleeping face and set the magazine beside Shuichi's head. "Tomorrow, a week will have passed," he said softly. Eiri lifted his smoke from his mouth. He spread his hand in a mock wave at the sleeper on his bed.   
  
"Bye bye. It time we part--Shuichi."  
  
Beneath his closed lids, Shuichi's eyes shifted. Something in his mind leered. Something in his mind frowned.   
  
/It's a promise./  
  
//It's a threat.//  
  
  
  
With a deft shove, Dr. Yui cleared her desk of papers and settled in front of her laptop. Adjusting her glasses, she began to type her report. As the clacking keys finally murmured in a continuous, clicking stream, her cell phone trilled. Her hands slowing to a stop, Dr. Yui looked up and glanced at the clock. It was late.  
  
Curious, the brunette reached into her pocket and located the ringing phone. She clicked it on. "Hello?"   
  
A pause. Then a voice spoke. Dr. Yui's eyes lit in recognition. "Ah, good evening. Yes, Shuichi-kun came in today." Dr. Yui scooted her chair away from her desk, focusing her attention on the phone. "He was very agitated. My diagnosis is that his mental stability is degenerating. You know that his particular form of dissociative disorder is truly rare."  
  
Dr. Yui grew silent for a moment, as the person on the other end asked a question.   
  
"The trigger of this degeneration? Shuichi-san has fallen for that novelist, Eiri Uesugi, correct? Yes. That's right. I believe Mr. Uesugi is the cause. Shuichi's mind is fragmenting again because of his conflicting feelings toward Mr. Uesugi. It is my opinion that he will regain his mental stability when he chooses to stop associating with the man." Another brief pause. The voice on the phone offered a suggestion.  
  
Dr. Yui raised an eyebrow, sliding her chair back towards the table. She propped her elbows on her desk.  
  
"Oh, no. No, I don't advise you to take care of the problem. Let Shuichi handle it. Being with Mr. Uesugi won't undo all ten years of therapy Shuichi underwent. Besides, allowing Shuichi control over his situation will give him a greater chance of emerging from this problem unscathed."   
  
Sitting up, Dr. Yui shuffled a few unruly papers. "Hm, what was that? Oh." She sighed a soft chuckle. "Yes. Things may get very ugly if Shuichi decides to stop being nice and give up restraining himself. He can be quite... violent..."  
  
Dr. Yui glanced back at the unfinished report on her laptop, eyes lingering over a certain, key sentence about her patient. Her glasses shone eerily, reflecting the light from her laptop monitor. "However, I don't think it will cause a major problem," she replied reassuringly. Tucking the cell phone between her ear and shoulder, she freed her hands and began to type again.   
  
"Don't worry about your son yet, Mrs. Shindo."  
  
  
  
  
  
*end*  
  
  
AN: Anyone want to take a stab at what Shuichi's dissociative disorder is? I'll write faster or slower according to the person who gets it right's wishes~ ^^ 


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